The funnyman reviews this week's singles, including Rihanna, Benga & Kano and Blue
*PICK OF THE WEEK *
**Benga & Kano*
*Forefather (Columbia)**
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Spooky bells, a horrible synth and a guy who keeps saying "lights, action!": it's like your little brother found the "dubstep" SFX on his shitty keyboard then replicated it over several minutes. It's chaotic and awful so I think I'm beginning to like it. I would totally "bug out" to this in the club. If I ever, in a thousand years, actually went to a club.
**Blue *
*Hurt Lovers (Blueworld)**
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Not to put a downer on things guys, but this is garbage right out of the gate. Hurt lovers? We're all hurt lovers, yawn. I don't care. Spare me your 1D-lite baby whining; you are grown men. I'm a grown man. I've been married seven years and "we gotta try"? No. We gotta do. This is lazy, over-produced and has the bonus of a video so great you'll want to kill the people who made it, and then yourself.
**Don Broco *
*Whole Truth (Sony)**
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It's disappointing when perfectly capable musicians are set the sad task of playing a turd of a song. This is that turd and this "alt-rock four-piece" need Brian Eno to shoot them with a tranquiliser dart, play it again and slow down. I can imagine, if I was a 12-year-old girl, thinking this was a masterpiece and truly worth something. But I'm a 36-year-old man and I have heard Other Music. Still, I'd rather my daughter go to five Don Broco shows than listen to Blue for five minutes.
**Rihanna *
*Pour It Up (Island/Def Jam)**
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Dear RiRi, let me see how many words we can pile on this excuse for a career without wanting to puke up a dictionary. This single is atrocious. Sinful. Shameful. Trash. Formulaic. It is a big boring no and everyone involved should be embarrassed. Umbrella was an unadulterated masterpiece in every way; everything since has been so terrible it's almost fascinating. Rihanna has become the most disappointing figure in recent pop history and I'm mad at her in the way you can only be at someone you really care about.
**Rae Morris *
*From Above (Warners)**
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Doesn't the girl have the most luscious voice? This is a pretty creative take on the simple, plaintive song on loving and longing. The chorus is repetitive but it's okay because the lyrics are quite poetic so I have no problem with this earworming into my brain, set on repeat. After all the aural abuse I've put up with so far today, it's just nice to hear a voice and words matched together.
**Dutch Uncles *
*Slave To The Atypical Rhythm (Memphis Industries)**
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Magnificent song, magnificent cover. There's not too much to say other than that you should listen to it loud and then make love to yourself or a friend.
Rob Delaney
guardian.co.uk © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds Reported by guardian.co.uk 1 day ago.
*PICK OF THE WEEK *
**Benga & Kano*
*Forefather (Columbia)**
Reading this on mobile? Click here to view
Spooky bells, a horrible synth and a guy who keeps saying "lights, action!": it's like your little brother found the "dubstep" SFX on his shitty keyboard then replicated it over several minutes. It's chaotic and awful so I think I'm beginning to like it. I would totally "bug out" to this in the club. If I ever, in a thousand years, actually went to a club.
**Blue *
*Hurt Lovers (Blueworld)**
Reading this on mobile? Click here to view
Not to put a downer on things guys, but this is garbage right out of the gate. Hurt lovers? We're all hurt lovers, yawn. I don't care. Spare me your 1D-lite baby whining; you are grown men. I'm a grown man. I've been married seven years and "we gotta try"? No. We gotta do. This is lazy, over-produced and has the bonus of a video so great you'll want to kill the people who made it, and then yourself.
**Don Broco *
*Whole Truth (Sony)**
Reading this on mobile? Click here to view
It's disappointing when perfectly capable musicians are set the sad task of playing a turd of a song. This is that turd and this "alt-rock four-piece" need Brian Eno to shoot them with a tranquiliser dart, play it again and slow down. I can imagine, if I was a 12-year-old girl, thinking this was a masterpiece and truly worth something. But I'm a 36-year-old man and I have heard Other Music. Still, I'd rather my daughter go to five Don Broco shows than listen to Blue for five minutes.
**Rihanna *
*Pour It Up (Island/Def Jam)**
Reading this on mobile? Click here to view
Dear RiRi, let me see how many words we can pile on this excuse for a career without wanting to puke up a dictionary. This single is atrocious. Sinful. Shameful. Trash. Formulaic. It is a big boring no and everyone involved should be embarrassed. Umbrella was an unadulterated masterpiece in every way; everything since has been so terrible it's almost fascinating. Rihanna has become the most disappointing figure in recent pop history and I'm mad at her in the way you can only be at someone you really care about.
**Rae Morris *
*From Above (Warners)**
Reading this on mobile? Click here to view
Doesn't the girl have the most luscious voice? This is a pretty creative take on the simple, plaintive song on loving and longing. The chorus is repetitive but it's okay because the lyrics are quite poetic so I have no problem with this earworming into my brain, set on repeat. After all the aural abuse I've put up with so far today, it's just nice to hear a voice and words matched together.
**Dutch Uncles *
*Slave To The Atypical Rhythm (Memphis Industries)**
Reading this on mobile? Click here to view
Magnificent song, magnificent cover. There's not too much to say other than that you should listen to it loud and then make love to yourself or a friend.
Rob Delaney
guardian.co.uk © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds Reported by guardian.co.uk 1 day ago.