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Heroes is back – what other rubbish shows should they resurrect?

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Following the news that the unloved superhero drama is making a return to our screens, we imagine how some other shows, such as Lost and FlashForward, could be brought back to life

Spoiler alert: this blog discusses key plot points from past series, including Lost, FlashForward and Dexter.

Taken on its own, the news that NBC plans to revive Heroes – the superhero series that died unloved of its own stupidity in 2010 – is fully inexplicable. The series blew through whatever scant promise it had in the space of a single series, only to limp on so doggedly for so long afterwards that nobody can realistically ever want to see it again.

However, taken in the context of the upcoming 24 revival, the news is ever so slightly worrying. Television's big new thing, it seems, is to take shows from a decade ago and jerk them back into life by whatever means necessary. Given that the 24 reboot appears to be about Jack Bauer's dad escorting The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to Buckingham Palace, and that the Heroes reboot is going to be a Heroes reboot, there's little to suggest that these revivals will have very much going for them at all. But it's too late for concern. Here's what we can expect to happen in some of these revivals.

*Lost*

Jack's eyes snap open, again. It turns out that he didn't die in the last scene of the original series after all; he was simply having a bit of a nap. However, all the baddies have died and all his friends have escaped on the plane, so he's the only one left on the island. The miniseries follows his miserable efforts to inject some drama into a story about a bloke in a forest. First he puts a plaster cast on a pig's leg and then gets in a huff when it doesn't show him the correct amount of gratitude. Then he tries to initiate a love triangle between himself, his own shadow and a pebble. Finally he farts into a handful of dirt, shouts, "Oh no, the smoke monster!" and hides up a tree for six weeks.

*Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip*

Matthew Perry is still the head writer of a bizarrely popular live comedy show. However, his job continues to get harder and harder due to a number of factors. The way that nobody at the network likes the show. The way that the lead actress, who is apparently brilliant, can still only really do impressions of people who were famous a minimum of 20 years ago. The way that whenever Perry so much as glances as a bottle of prescription medication, he automatically has a tedious four-hour flashback to a moment in his life that only he thinks is any way profound. The way that his work is literally interrupted every two seconds by someone bursting into his office to embark on a directionless and needlessly wordy rant about America's foreign policy. The way that all the corridors in his building are far too long and don't actually go anywhere. The way that his show doesn't contain a single joke. That sort of thing.

*FlashForward*

Joseph Fiennes, Jack Davenport and Dominic Monaghan sit around a table and try to remember what FlashForward was actually about. "Didn't everyone fall over at the same time or something?" Davenport asks. "I think so. There might have been a giraffe in the first episode, but I could be wrong," replies Monaghan. "Then what happened?" Davenport asks. There's a long silence. Everyone shrugs. "Actually, let's not bother," Monaghan says after a few minutes. As they start to get up, Fiennes yells "BECAUSE I WAS LOADED, OK?". Monaghan and Davenport stare at their feet. It is a profoundly awkward moment.

*Dexter*

The series just ended, but it's still ripe for a revival. We meet Dexter, who is still a bearded lumberjack who still does nothing but silently stare into the camera. That's all he does. Each of the 10 new episodes is just Dexter in a crummy fake beard sitting inside a hut and staring at the camera. Spoiler alert: in the season finale, Dexter's lumberjack boss shouts: "You're fired!" through his letterbox. Dexter blinks. The end.

Which shows would you like to revive? Let us know below. Reported by guardian.co.uk 1 day ago.

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